In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, Marriage, Relationships, solitary by Debra FiletaAugust 8, 2019

I got an e-mail from a young male who was emotion frustrated with relationships. He had actually recently asked a girl top top a date and also had been turned down. She described to him that she was wait for she “soul mate”.

You are watching: There is no such thing as true love

Apparently, she no think he was the one.

My heart goes out to this young man, because it always stings to gain turned down- no matter exactly how spiritual or holy the rejection might sound. i’ve met much more than my share of young men and women who are sitting around, waiting for their spirit mate. As though one day, there will certainly be a miracle knock top top the door and also “poof”, their soul mate will certainly be waiting.

I think this philosophy of a “soul mate” has done far an ext harm than great in ours society.  very first and foremost, that a principle that is rooted in old mythology. Story has it that the gods break-up human beings as a kind of punishment for your pride. Since then, human beings have been ~ above the search to find their “soul mate” in an effort to reach completion as soon as again.

Ancient mythology declares that there is this unspoken knowledge- some sort of feeling that a person experiences when they come confront to challenge with their soul mate. Half full civilization waiting around for someone rather to finish them. Ns don’t know about you, however that no sound an extremely healthy come me.

Beyond the reality that the hatchet is founded totally in fairy tale, it’s likewise entirely unbiblical.

It is a title the is promotes “feeling” and also “energy” that attracts one human being to another. That a dangerous concept because it stupid you into believing the love and marriage hinge on emotional ecstasy. And even an ext detrimental, is that it gets you to think that you space incomplete till you come face to face with the love of your life.

How lengthy will it take united state to find out that feelings can not be trusted?  lock may help point us in the ideal direction, but they must NEVER it is in the sole foundation on which an entire relationship is based. Because at the end of the day, feelings come- and also then feel go. Those who develop their relationships on the foundation of “feeling” will discover that when the rain comes- their love conveniently crumbles.

All over the people there room Christian young men and also women waiting for the magical moment when they will certainly come confront to face and also eye to eye with the human being that will stir their heart and connect deeply v their soul. because that the one who will finish them and make lock whole.

There is no such point as a human being who will complete our souls, due to the fact that according come God’s word- we are only made finish in Him.

Healthy relationships begin by knowledge this completeness. castle are based on positive interactions, reliable communication, and also an emotional give-and-take with an additional human gift that mirrors health and wholeness. Castle are established in faith, rooted in great choices, and grounded in difficult work and a entirety lot that grace. Don’t gain me wrong- healthy and balanced relationships will always come with wealth of healthy and balanced feelings, passion, and romance- but they might not always start v those emotions.

If you’re waiting to satisfy that human being that will cause some type of magical moment inside of girlfriend that will certainly dub them as “the one”, yes a good chance you will do it be waiting for a long, lengthy time. Instead, execute yourself a favor and also begin to make connections with the world God has placed in her life. Obtain to know yourself, and then get to know human being of the opposite sex who have actually the qualities you are in search of in a future mate.

Don’t freak the end if the feelings aren’t magical or mystical, because frankly, castle were never intended to be. Look because that qualities, traits and characteristics that are attractive based upon the things you know you need and want in a relationship. Find a relationship that emits healthiness, wholeness, and respect. Take it one step at a time, and also be assured that in a best relationship- feelings will constantly be present, however they have the right to never be the foundation of a healthy relationship.

True love is based upon a healthy combination of facts and also feelings, and a whole lot of an excellent choices.  might God give you the wisdom to pick well.

See more: Speak Symbolism In Speak By Laurie Halse Anderson, Symbolism In Speak By Laurie Halse Anderson

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s additionally the hold of the hotline style Love + relationship Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, get millions of human being with the blog post of healthy relationships. Attach with she on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session v her today!


Get busy discovering what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and also marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It needs to Start with We > Me or True Love Dates: her Indispensable overview to finding the Love of her Life.

(Debra’s brand-new Book: Love In Every Season coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!)

And examine out Debra’s Love + relationships Podcast ~ above iTunes or where you get your podcasts!